labios compartidos

i've noticed that i don't like the way things are going around here.
i'm so back and forth on what i want that i'm not even sure i should be thinking about anything these days.

15 more days of working summer job number 2
26 days until 2nd year RA training
46 days until orientation at MTV internship
47 days until first day of my third year at college. @.@
I'm guessing I'll need to quit my office job or else I'll work myself to death once school starts.

how many days until I just don't care about you anymore. UGHHHHHHHH I would be fine if my subconscious didn't throw so many dreams at me. I was fine and looking into other options until last night threw me for a loop. I wake up thinking that that actually happened and then I realize that I'm here by myself.

Why does this keep happening? Why can't I just get out of bed and get over you? I don't understand.

I was discarded like a piece of trash, without a second thought. I've been placated, appeased, and lead on only to realize that its not worth the pain and stress I go through to hold on to you. Why did I believe your lies? You didn't have to lie to me at all. What you promised me was not what I was after in the beginning. So why am I sitting here, wondering about what you really wanted, when its been two months since we kissed for the last time? Why am I going on and on like some stupid emotional idiot. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.